GUKKK, NOT Gawk!

Gawker exposes Glamour Magazine’s article featuring new “hotspot” to pluck:

YOUR NIPPLES!

We know that the goal of Glamour is to, well, “teach” if you will, the art of being glamorous, the current trends, and so on and so forth. But HELLO?!?! This article is just waaaaaaaay TMI.

Let’s leave tweezing your nipple hair a taboo subject, shall we? Gukkkk.

OMGZ OMGZ OMGZ

I just peed my pants, with no thanks to my Mickey D’s extra large iced French Vanilla coffee!

Are you sitting down?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

BOO!

MISCHA MISCHA MISCHA!

Your favorite girl-next-door turned coked-up party mess Mischa Barton is doing just fine! She was released from rehab on July 19th and is trying to get back into the swing of things.

She has a career to focus on, people! In case you forgot.

No KFED No!

K-Fed to get his own reality show? He needs more of a reality check!

Whoever’s brilliant idea it was to put Special-K on television was definitely suffering some massive shroomie damage! Having some swirly visions NOT to our liking!

Blegh. Shed a few pounds, become someone worthwhile, and maybe we’ll tune in.

PHOTO COURTESY OF US WEEKLY!

Brown is SORRAY!

So much controversy over the Chris Brown apology!

Sincere? A lot of people don’t think so. At least the dude apologized, so let’s cut him some slack. So it was his moronic lawyers who advised him against making a public apology. Leave the kid alone! Where the F is Chris Crocker when you REALLY need someone crying and bitching over a celebrity who ya’ll just need to leave be!

Are you going to shoot me for saying this? He made a mistake and he apologized.

oh no, BRET!

poor Bret Michaels!

Some heavy ass piece of equipment fell on his face! Apparently, he “missed the mark” and didn’t move out of the way when it was coming towards him, and no one did anything about it. He’s complaining about a bruised nose.

We’re disappointed. Bret, you are TOO cute and too macho to be complaining about a bruised nose!

BAHAHA heart the FAKERZ

So… some British tabloid f-ed up? Nah, we’re pretty sure they totally fabricated an interview with Harry Potter star, Emma Watson! Who gives an f?

Well if you’re Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart, you might! Faker Roberts told the tabloid that even though she was interested in Pattinson, he was already taken.

Now, you just don’t spread rumors like that! Didn’t your mother ever tell you that KARMA’S A BITCH? If you don’t know the truth, you don’t open your speaking box and blab about a whole bunch of blarney!

As far as we the American people are concerned, the Twilight stars are NOT an item.

more embarrassing than THIS:

is her stanky new reality television series:

Paris Hilton’s: My New BFF

Really, Paris? I thought we made amends with Nicole Bitchie.

And come on, let’s be serious. Were you really ever contemplating replacing any of your A-list gal pals for that horrendous Asian he-she?

So disappointed. And most definitely, so not hot.

Agreed?

how to spot a player

we all know them. those boys that miraculously get any girl they want. they are not necessarily the most gorgeous guy of the bunch, but it’s their killer personality and this weird kind of aura that attracts you to them like bees to honey. like what the f is that seriously all about. how does it happen, why does it happen, and most importantly, why do you fall for their lip service [charming as it may be] EVERY. DAMN. TIME.

most of these kinds of guys have always been ladies men. chances are, they have sisters, or a dominant female presence in their family. these boys grow up knowing how girls are – what they like, how they act in specific situations… they’ve dealt with it before; handling you is a piece of cake.

these boys are observant. they never forget anything from past relationships. they watch you interact. they know your friends. their goal is to learn who you are inside and out [creepy?] so they can tempt you into anything.

they make you feel special. they cater to your every desire without seeming doormat-ish. and they get you EVERY. TIME.

question is – do we really like it?

stalkeralert omgz.

just thought i’d share… my BIGGEST creepiest nyc myspace fan!

after commenting on each of my myspace pictures..

can only IMAGINE how my scrumptious J’bella’s gonna’ spend her b’day! I’m hatin’ on that LUCKY dude ALREADY JuLi’CiouS! lol HAVE A BLAST LUV…wink*

K*i*S*S*e*S*

Your BIGgest
FaN in NYC

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hm.